To Be or Not To Be
by JaceHeronduck
Summary: Tobias enters his fear landscape only to find it has changed. But, he's never been afraid of this specific fear. Tris and Tobias have been married for five years, and this fear hadn't showed up. It wasn't a necessary fear, considering that this certain step had never been discussed between the pair. But, will that finally change? No war- fluffy fanfiction- Only Al is dead T&T
1. Chapter 1

**Ages: Tris: 23 Tobias: 25 TOBIAS POV**

* * *

I run to the edge of the building and jump. No need in being afraid of this. I'd done it a million times before with Tris. Tris. My beautiful wife of three years. She was off somewhere with Christina and Will and their baby Evan. Baby. It never really came up between me and her. From what I know, it didn't come up between Will and Christina either. Nor did it with Uriah and Marline, or Zeke and Shauna for that fact. They had all fallen pregnant within three months of each other. Now, a year later, Tris and I have yet to come even remotely close to the subject.

I hit the floor in a crouch with a grunt. I barely have time to breathe before I am shoved in the too familiar box. I curl up very small. I'd been practicing for this fear too. It started with Tris and I sitting in our square bathroom for hours. Eventually, when I couldn't sleep, I'd practice sitting in there alone, sometimes up until Tris had to get ready five hours later. Needless to say, I no longer feared tight spaces. So why isn't it gone yet? I found myself wondering that constantly. I guess I just needed more practice. Sure, at first my heart would speed up when the last plank was on, but I could control my heart rate much quicker. Just breathe. I told myself. I close my eyes and think of what Tris could be doing. She could be getting a tattoo. She could be shopping for Evan. Maybe she was finally buying everyone's Christmas presents early this year. God knows that'd be a relief.

Suddenly the walls burst apart. I slowly get to my feet, knowing sure well what comes next. I hear the footsteps, and sink to the ground. I would never get over this fear. Marcus would never fully vanish from my mind. I take a deep breath, knowing the first impact is about to come. I hear the crack of the belt against skin, but I feel nothing. I look up, and Marcus stands with his back to me, cracking the belt over, and over. Each time, a small cry rings out. Tris? I think. No. Tris wouldn't sit there helplessly. I take a look at what Marcus is after. And I freeze. My body goes rigid as I see the little boy, only wearing a diaper, with blonde waves, and my eyes. Who the- I cut my thoughts off as Marcus begins to speak.

"This is for your father's own good. He could have had any Dauntless woman, but he chose your mother. They don't want you. They don't even want each other anymore. All they wanted was one night to let go. They're stupid though. It only takes one time, and then you're here." He growls.

Father? One time? Once again, realization sets on me. This is my baby, this is our baby. But we don't have a baby yet. What if she wants one? Have you talked to her yet? Maybe its time project parenthood got put into action. The voice that speaks in my head sounds like Zeke's. We had discussed project parenthood when Zeke was trying to get Shauna to agree to start a family. It turned out, she'd wanted one all along. What if it's the same with Tris? My mind asks. I close my eyes. Without thinking, I tackle Marcus to the ground, and KO him. I pick up the baby, but the sensation of holding "my baby" only lasts for ten seconds before he vanishes. I immediately long for the return of the small person in my arms.

The surroundings change, and Tris stands in front of a target at the opposite side of the room. I pick up a knife, and hurl it at her heart, immediately closing my eyes and covering my ears as she screams. My mind goes back to the baby automatically. Did you see how beautiful he was? That could be your life, if you just talked to Tris. It isn't like you haven't slept with her before. A baby could be good for you. Maybe you'll see you aren't Marcus, and you won't be afraid anymore. I think as I dissolve back into the simulation room. I go over and look at my time. 1 hour and 6 minutes. It had never taken me that long. I had a feeling it was because of the third simulation, where a certain beauty clad in a diaper entered the world of my thoughts. Gotta talk to Tris.

~.~.~.~

We lie in bed three nights later, Tris staring at the wall and me staring at her. I close my eyes. It's now or never. But before I can speak, Tris turns over to me.

She giggles and runs her hand up and down my jaw. "I remember when this was smooth. A lot happens in two years." She says.

I smile. "No kidding." She seems content, rubbing my rough stubble and watching as her hand passes over it. I take a deep breath. "How was the picnic with the girls?" I ask. The girls decided to have a girl day while the men were at work, all in the control room.

She sighs as if in a trance. "It was fun." She says, but her hand hesitates on my jaw. She begins to laugh. "Evan chased around Shaylee and Kristi, but fell in the mud over near the pond. Christina had to hold him out of the train to dry him off." She said through laughter. Shaylee was Marlene and Zeke's baby, and Kristi was the youngest, at seven months old. Zeke and Shauna had been ecstatic to have a girl, since it would be easier for Shauna while Zeke worked. She continues to explore my stubble, but her hand shakes slightly.

I make her look up at me. "What happened? What did Christina say now?" I ask. It wasn't uncommon that she'd break down at night due to Christina's abnormally large mouth.

She shakes her head. "It was all of them." she says in a shaky voice. "Tobias, they asked if I couldn't have babies. I told them I was capable, and they apologized saying they just thought, since..." she trailed off. I don't say anything, just let her get a hold of herself. "They assumed I couldn't because they said they'd have thought we'd have one by now. I just...I never talked to you about it. I was too scared." She says.

I can tell she's embarrassed and upset, but I'm surprised that she's holding onto her tears this well. I take a deep breath. "My fear landscape changed. Now, instead of Marcus beating me, he beats our son." I say in a shaky voice.

Tris gasps. She then puts a hand on my arm. "Do you think it's a sign?" She asks.

I smile. "I don't know, but I got to hold him in my landscape. Tris... I want a baby." I say softly, barely audible.

Tris smiles back. "Your wish is my command, Tobi." She says.

The last thing I'm aware of, is that smile, the smile I have never been so glad to see. She wants me, and a baby. I can't help but smile back.

~.~.~.~

Five Years Later...

I come home to the smell of cake and rubber. Tris is getting ready for the birthday party. I smile, and walk in the kitchen, where a very big Tris sits, icing the cake. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her huge stomach, rubbing small circles around her naval.

She sets down the icing and stands up to greet me. I wrap her in my arms, ignoring her predicament. There's just more of her to love. She kisses me lightly, and I kiss the soon to be addition of our family. "Where's Tanner?" I ask her.

She picks the icing back up and begins making the blue swirls again. "He's in his room. He and Taylor are playing cards." She says.

I smile and thank her, and walk through the hallways of our larger apartment. I pass two doors, one leading to a hot pink room, the other bare. When I reach the third white door, I knock, and enter the room, interrupting the intense game of Go Fish between my three year old and my soon to be five year old. I clear my throat. Tanner, my oldest, jumps up and into my arms, throwing his arms around my neck, and giving me a sloppy kiss on my cheek. "Dad, did you see the cake mom is making me? It's amazing! It tastes really good too!" He exclaims.

I settle him on my hip with one arm supporting his bottom. "I did! She is working very, very hard on it. Did you tell her thank you?" I ask him, tickling his under arms with my free hand.

He nods rapidly, and I set him down. I then walk carefully over to my three year old. I almost tear up when I see her, even three years later. She'd been the hardest. Tris almost lost her, and I almost lost Tris. The doctor said Tris almost died of childbirth, and when she was proclaimed alright, I got word that my baby's vocal cords weren't fully developed. She was going to be mute until she could get a transplant on her tenth birthday. I gather Taylor up in my arms and kiss her forehead. She waves and signs "Hi, Daddy," with the sign language I, Tris, and the doctors taught her. She was an amazing communicator, just with her hands and actions more than her unspoken words. She then starts signing something else. "Mommy said she was having tummy problems earlier. Is my brother going to be here soon?"

I raise my eyebrows and smile gently. "It should be very soon, maybe two more weeks." I sign back. With that she smiles and wraps me in a hug. I set her down on the floor and let them continue their game. Closing their bedroom door, I then walk back into the bare room, and sit in the rocker next to the crib. "You'll turn out just fine. The doctor made sure you were coming along well." I say to the crib. Originally, Tris and I wanted four children, but when Taylor got here, I couldn't risk losing Tris again. People would say they could never pick a favorite child, and I concluded that was true. For a while, it had been all attention on Taylor, and Tanner was suffering from that. It was hard, so hard to take care of both children, especially when one couldn't talk. So, as a solution, we raised the children side by side, and talked to Tanner, explaining how his sister was different, and he had to be careful with her. Now, they never separate, never closing the door that joins both of their rooms. Multiple times I catch Tanner in Taylor's bed, him signing to her their conversations. He had been determined to learn, so we taught him alongside Taylor. These thoughts finally send me over, and I put my head in my hands. I was so lucky to have my family. Taylor was a miracle, and Tanner was the sweetest little boy ever, so caring, he loved with abandon. Sometimes it scared me how much he would instantly trust someone.

My head snaps up when I hear the door creak. I don't bother wiping my tears when I see that it's Tris. She comes in, gently sitting in the rocker beside mine.

I take a deep breath. "Tay- Tay told me you weren't feeling well?" I ask.

She nods. "He's a restless one. Sometimes I can see him move. I'm scared." She says.

I shake my head. "I'm just ready. Taylor, she's so excited." I whisper.

Tris smiles at me and takes my hand. "You look at her like she's everything. She's your miracle I guess." She says.

I nod. "Honestly, I wouldn't be worried if this next one couldn't speak. It makes me treasure them even more. We're so lucky that she survived, that Tanner is here for her, that she doesn't get disappointed when she sees how the other kids talk. God knows I don't deserve all of this. I don't deserve you, let alone this life." I say.

Tris shakes her head. "I sure as hell deserve you, so don't think like that. I need you. We all need you." She says. "The kids really need you." She trails off. "I was thinking… Maybe we could name him Tristan." She says.

I nod. "I see we're still following the 'T' name pattern." I laugh.

She laughs with me. "What better a name, than one that starts with a 'T'?" she asks.

~.~.~.~

Two and a half weeks later Tristan Four Eaton is born, completing our family. We now have a five year old Tanner, with blonde hair and dark blue eyes, a beautifully silent daughter with brown locks and my eyes, and a newborn with blonde fuzz and the brightest version of Tris's eyes you could ever imagine. But, just when we think we're done, a little celebration of New Year's Eve, leads us three months later, to a white and blue stick with a pink plus sign, sitting in the palm of my beautiful wife's hand. The last thing I register before I black out, is Tris's small grin, and her tiny, but powerful word. "Surprise,"


	2. Chapter 2

My heart stops when I walk in on Taylor and Evan, sitting on Taylor's bed with their faces smashed together. I promised myself I wouldn't be _that dad_, the one that offered to show the boyfriends their gun collection. I gulped, and knocked on the door frame. They sprung apart, Evan looking guilty, but not ashamed, and Taylor close to tears. "I'm so sorry, daddy," she said. Five years ago she got her vocal cord transplants and I felt the excitement for the whole world. I wanted to hear what sounds her mouth could form, I wanted to be able to say good morning, and her be able to tell me what she had planned for the day.

I shook my head and smiled at my beautiful daughter. Evan was a great kid, always kind to adults. He was the type of kid to knock on the door and have a conversation about sports with the father while his date got ready. Now, I guess Taylor was his date. "It's quite alright. You're fifteen, and Evan is a great kid. But, I'm sorry to say that it's dinner time. Evan, your family will be joining us." I address calmly.

I turn to leave, giving them privacy to take care of the flushed faces and rumpled clothing. When I enter the living room, Tris meets my eyes with a confused look. "Was everything alright in there?" she asks.

I nod. "It's that time. Just like with Tanner and Shaylee. My little girl is growing up." I say stiffly.

Christina's eyes are wide. "I'm going to kill Evan. He doesn't need to be corrupting your daughter! He's two years older!" she exclaims.

I look at Tris and Smirk. "Two years, very insurmountable." I say.

Christina covers her mouth. "I didn't mean it like that you two! It's just, Taylor's so innocent, and responsible, and Evan can be… A handful." She says.

Will's face is red and he just sits there as if embarrassed by his son.

I laugh. "Taylor can choose who she wants to be with. Personally, she could use a bit of a wild, carefree side. She's so careful…" I trail off. Two weeks after her transplant, she still only said a few words and signed a lot. She was able to talk the day after surgery, but she took a careful route. I have no problem with her dating Evan, because I know she'll be safe. She always is.

Taylor and Evan enter the room with their hands linked. Taylor blushes when she meets my eyes, but I give her an encouraging smile. Relief floods her features. "Where's Tanner?" she asks.

My seventeen year old was living with us, since factions aren't strict. The children can choose when to leave or stay now, and Tanner decided to stay until he was really truly ready. "He's in his room with Tristan. Tristan is trying to impress a girl from school." I say.

Taylor looks horrified. "You're alright with that? He's eleven! And he's taking advice from Tanner!" she busted out. When Tristan was born, Taylor was the overprotective sister, and Tanner was his best friend from day one.

Tris laughs. "Honey, you know Tristan, he doesn't go twenty feet near any girls besides you guys. He'll be careful." She says comfortingly.

Evan squeezes Taylor's hand as if to calm her down, and she relaxes. Her dark brown hair is flat again. She inherited my pin straight hair. We make our way over to the dining room table, and I watch, pleased as Evan pulls out Taylor's chair. I pull Tris' chair out and hear her stifle a laugh. I'm just trying to be a good role model. Will lets Christina fend for herself and she snorts and slaps him upside the head.

I sigh. "I'll go get the boys." I say, patting Tris' shoulder on the way by. I walk to the last door of the hallway and hear hushed chatting.

"No, Tristan, you can't show off. If you come off cocky, she'll totally over look you. You have to be kind, and you have to be calm, cool, and collected." Tanner says.

"I can't do that! I can't even talk to her! I'm so afraid!" Tristan exclaims.

"Tristan, you've got the looks. You're so freakin adorable to girls. I know, because believe it or not, _eight year olds_ are checking you out." Tanner says.

I walk in and clear my throat. "But, just remember kindness. If you make her angry, she might get offended and you'll come off as a jerk." I say.

"And that's supposed to help me?" Tristan cries out.

I bite my cheek. Right. He was going through puberty. His confidence level sucks, he's hormonal, and he's just becoming interested in girls. I stifle a shudder as I think of the physical changes I'd have to help him through. Tanner didn't need much help. He didn't get… worked up… easily. And, he'd been "dating" Uriah and Marlene's daughter Kristi, since they were eight. They'd just found out that there was, in fact, a physical difference between boy animals and girl animals, and they'd seen a documentary of the birds and how they found a girl or boy to be "more than friends" with. I got punished for a week from watching that and explaining why boy animals had a "hang down thingy". They'd then learned that there was more than just physical stuff to relationships, and they found out that they in fact did love each other. Now, at seventeen, Tanner was already waiting for when he was twenty to propose to her. He's even gone into some ring stores.

I sigh again. "Tristan, if you like this girl, and she likes you back, things will just turn up, and before you know it, you'll be together. But, you also have to be willing to fight for her, not physically, but you'll have to make some compromises. Say she likes chocolate chip cookies while you like sugar cookies. If you only have enough for one, get her the cookie she wants. Be a gentleman, and have manners. She'll be wrapped around your thumb in no time." I explain patting him on the head.

Tristan looks up at me with his light blue grey eyes. "What kind of cookie did you get mommy?" He asks.

Tanner snorts and I throw a nearby wad of clothes at him, that little weirdo. "You're mom doesn't like cookies. She likes dauntless cake. And I happened to introduce her to that." I say.

Tristan nods, and then throws his strong arms around my neck. "Thank you so much daddy."

I smile. "Let's get to dinner, everyone's hungry." I suggest.

-.-.-.-

Five years later...

"Tris, come on." I say gently. "Tanner needs us to watch the kids. Kristi has a doctor's appointment." I say.

Tris' eyes open, and she sits up. "Wait. Taylor and Evan have a doctor's appointment too. She gets to find out the gender of her baby." She exclaims.

I sigh. "Yes, baby, right, we'll be sure to call her." I rush out. Tris jumps up and pulls on clothes lightning fast. "By the way, Tristan has a date with Sam tonight." I add. My advice had worked and now Tristan and Sam were going on their three month anniversary date.

Tris smiles at me in the mirror. "Maybe we'll be going to another wedding in a few years." She says.

I raise an eyebrow. "Why, you planning on leaving me for Uriah?" I joke.

Tris snorts. "Not in a million years! He'd hog all the Dauntless cake!" she exclaims.

I wrap my arms around her slim figure. "And I don't?" I ask.

Tris giggles. "Yes, but at least you let me lick you clean." She says.

I roll my eyes. "Tris, our goal is to go take care of grandbabies, not make more of our own babies." I say.

At Tris' appalled face, I run down the hall and to Tanner's apartment. I knock on the door rapidly when I see Tris come flying down the hall after me. The door opens and there stands a huge Kristi. "You guys are pregnant?" I yell.

Tanner comes up behind her. "Yeah, it happened towards the end of us living in Amity. Let's just say we got really happy one day."

I shift my feet as Tris comes up behind me. I'm so getting it later. "Son, we've raised you better. Don't talk about that stuff with me." I say and whisk them down the hall, off towards the pit. Before I can go in the apartment, Tris grabs my arm.

She gives me a soft kiss. "I love you so much, Tobias." She says.

I smile down at her. "I love you more." I say. When I kiss her, I think of the kids, of our lives when she was sixteen, twenty three years ago. I sigh against her mouth. "I'm so lucky." I mumble.

She grunts and pulls away, her hand on my chest. "_We_ are lucky. There's no more _I_. There never will be." She says, and we go inside, to take care of our first set of grandchildren.

* * *

**That's the end of this story, hope ya'll liked their little life. Fourtris forever 3**


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